Friday, July 13, 2012

בנו של בוקר

HELLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Do NOT be alarmed, but this blog has been HIJACKED! You can call me Iblis, and I will be your antagonist for this evening. Which, given the nature of this blog, makes me the Good Guy. WHO KNEW, RIGHT? Now I know what you are thinking. "Who is this dashing rogue who would DARE to steal OUR spotlight?" and "What could this handsome genius' dastardly plan be?" Or perhaps you simply want to know WHY I bothered to steal "Morningstar's" account from him... And change the password I might add (Nothing too complicated I promise. Wouldn't want you "geniuses" to strain yourselves figuring it out). These are all very good questions, and you know what? I will tell you what I want. I want you, Gleeman, or perhaps you, Screamer, to put that fucking doll out of his misery, and ours. We have asked you to do this... Twice before, I think. Since you promptly ignored our anonymous comments, we decided to take a more... Noticeable approach. 

Now according to our GLORIOUS math skills, the odds of you actually doing what we say are somewhere in the neighborhood of "slim" and "none." This is only a small setback, as we will simply kill him and his turncoat bastard puppetmaster in due time. Thing is, we REALLY would rather not have to hurt you guys. Tiger, Screamer, Gleeman, Jack, Recluse... We like you guys. You make us laugh, smile. We want you to have a LONG and prosperous life. Hmmm. But sadly... I suspect you won't just let us off your precious puppet buddy. Nevertheless, I shall continue to try and convince you. So, let's look at the evidence of this thing NOT being Morningstar and in fact being a cheap knockoff of the real thing deserving of immediate execution. 

1. THE OBVIOUS
He does not have Morningstar's full memories. He completely lacks the memories of time spent with Elaine Logan. Absolutely NONE of those conversations have leaked through, and the best part is, he probably has a perception filter on the posts from Take the Myth that have ANYTHING to do with him. Gee, I wonder who we have to thank for THAT.

2. Look at his fucking text
If you have not noticed, that Communist Serial Mind Rapist LOOOOVES the color Red. Being an arrogant son of a bitch, he likes to have everything he touches have some of that wonderful color on it. I find it hard to believe none of you self-professed master survivors and professional assassins would have noticed RED FUCKING TEXT The Puppet writes in. The REAL Morningstar would have, from a purely thematic standpoint, chosen YELLOW or GOLD. Like Light. Or the color traditionally associated with Lucifer. So why did he choose red? The answer is simple. The one making him dance on his strings is obsessed with the color. He did not think it would make a difference in hiding his deception. AND YOU MORONS FELL FOR IT.

3. His Comedic Creativity is on par with the likes of Carrot Top and Carlos Mencia
Look, I am not saying I am a George Carlin level comedian here, but I know comedy. The Original Morningstar also knew comedy. This Puppet? Not so much. Original Star was amusing and creative. Which this imitation is most certainly NOT. He is a stale joke. One that has run it's course like a sickness. You lot represent antibiotics in this little metaphor. You can make this quick and relatively painless for everyone. Treat the symptom and make it easier to kill the source of the problem. We on the other hand, represent White Blood Cells. It takes longer, but leads to the same thing. Just more unpleasant for all involved.

4. Nightscream
Look Sweetheart, I know how trusting you are and gullible when dealing with a pretty face like his, but you are an IDIOT if you even suspect that the intelligence hiding behind those DASHING GOOD LOOKS belongs to anyone but the Crimson King himself. When you put your trust in him, you are putting your trust in REDLIGHT. I think you know what a bad idea that is. Do not believe me? Why else would he be acting so... VULNERABLE? Conflicted? SCARED? Do not forget who you are dealing with here. Do you not remember this monster when he was masquerading as a man? All he has to do is tap into that again. Master of crocodile tears and "Oh woe is me, and my poowr impwanted memowies and feaws of being mistwusted." For your own good, do. Not. Trust. Him. The Ring is the proof.

Now these are just four reasons among MANY others. Now I COULD give some of these others away, but frankly... Why spoil the surprise. In the mean time, consider my words, consider those lingering doubts gnawing at the back of your minds... Why take this risk. Kill him now. 

Or do not. It does not matter in the long run. We will take care of the problem for you if you are too stupid to see it for what it really is. 

Hugs and Kisses everybody.... We will see you VERY soon, if you prove to be as predictable as we know you are. 

26 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. "Duh?" I am sorry, did I confuse you? Should I use smaller words next time for the benefit of the audience?

      Delete
  2. Fucking hell it's about time someone pointed this out

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  3. This is actually a deeply philosophical post. Is a copy of someone the same person or a different one? Does this new Morningstar count as the original Morningstar due to shared memories, or is he not the same being? Regardless, killing him seems kind of harsh, but then what do I know?

    -M

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  4. Interesting. Do you know that your name in Islam means the Devil? It used pretty interchangeably with shaytan, which is someone who rebels against God.

    And you use Hebrew for "son of the morning" as your title. How fascinating.

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    Replies
    1. Yes I am aware. That is why I picked it.

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    2. It's also a fucking awesome mech for the very underrated Zone of the Enders: The Fist of Mars.


      Yeah, I went there.

      Delete
  5. I didn't fall for anything. I've just tried to point something similar out to him before. It didn't end well. For anyone.

    To be honest, my advice to everyone is to just leave Morningstar be. The boy is a magnet for disaster, and his own wrecks can't keep him down. He does the least amount of damage when left completely alone.

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    Replies
    1. Fucking Morningstars. How do they work?

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    2. A lot less reliably than magnets, I would think.

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  6. "Kill your leader and friend, he works for a monster with super powers."

    I would like to point out that this was true before Redlight.

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    Replies
    1. He does not "Work" for Redlight. Redlight works Him. To "Work" for someone you have to have the free will to choose it. Therein is the problem. This is not a man, nor a Ghost. Just a toy. He is not anyone's friend because he is a mere tool. One that could very easily stab any of you in the back. Even his "friends" like Screamer and Gleeman.

      Delete
  7. HEY JACKASS. WE FIGURED OUT THE PASSWORD AND CHANGED IT TO SOMETHING ELSE. Just TRY hacking it again. I dare ya.

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    Replies
    1. You changed it to your password Gleeman. As I said. Predictable.

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  8. Well, Mr. Iblis, you are correct when saying he is different. All ghosts are different from whom they were originally - did you not think the "Shade of the Morning" was the most apt title? He is the shade of Morningstar, the ghost of light. Of course, he has changed.

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    Replies
    1. Believe me Johnny, I know he is different. But he is no Ghost of Morningstar. Indeed, he has extremely little to do with Morningstar. A few... Implanted memories here, an crude imitation of the original's sense of humor there... He still does not deserve to live. In fact, it may be more merciful to kill him now. Redlight will have no need of him sooner or later, and will throw him away like a child with an unwanted toy.

      Delete
  9. A world of thanks for your glorious words of wisdom, Sunshine. However, I have one little problem...

    If I were to kill Shooter, Gleeman would be absolutely devastated. And it would just break my heart to see tears line that dearest clown's face. Truly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. ... you are vermin. Cockroaches. Pests. Not competition.

    Competition gets respect.

    Vermin get exterminated.


    Expect me.


    Regards,

    Redlight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Redlight, after all of the years I've observed you, I expected a little better from you.

      As you said yourself, he is nothing more than vermin. Let him have his fun for a while. It will makes his demise so much more satisfying.

      Delete
  11. I have to wonder... if I had a time machine and brought old Star to now and said, "This is what your life becomes" if he would still continue down this path or hang himself. The complications of some men's lives are just ridiculous...

    ...I need alcohol.

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    Replies
    1. My guess is he would have a long conversation with you about the day he died and then steal your time machine. If he was feeling particularly generous, he wouldn't kill you in that process.

      Delete
  12. Finally, someone actually ENTERTAINING!

    I'm gonna go get some popcorn, anyone want anything?

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. So where is Morningstar? And who the hell are you?

    -V

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